Soul needs and soul wounds...reflections

As Kenneth Hagin used to say - I am a spirit, I have a soul and I live in a body. Another way of describing this is tri-dimensional. God made all three and saved all three.When we become born again, it is our spirit which is born again. But we also have a soul (mind and emotions) and a body.

Paul speaks of our new heart being "perfect". In Hebrews the writer says that we have come to "the general assembly and church of the first born who are enrolled in heaven, and to God, the Judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect".   

In other words, the new heart that God has put inside us is already made perfect. This means that our hearts will not be changed when we go to heaven. But our soul and body will.

We essentially are a spirit. Our spirit is also known as our heart. We can sense things in our spirit, we can see things in our spirit and we can hear things in our spirit. Some people can even touch and smell in  their spirit. The last two are not things I have personally experienced, but I have experienced the first three.

Your spirit is where your faith is based. When you "know" something, it is in your spirit. I'm talking about your "knower" - i.e. when you know that you know. This sort of knowing can be a stong conviction that completely contradicts what you "know" intellectually or see in the natural. This is the sort of "knowing" that christians have in their heart about salvation and heaven - it is called faith. This activity takes place in your spirit if you are born again. If you can locate where you know you are saved, you are feeling your spirit right there!

 Okay, so far so good. Now the christian life has traditionally been about meeting peoples' spiritual needs. However, we are not simply spirit beings. We also have needs in the other two areas of our being - our soul and our body. The problem in many of our church cultures is that we ignore these two areas.

Our spirit has needs which includes - intimacy with Father God, time in the word of God, time in the presence of God, praise and worship and grace, the crucifixtion of our sinful nature, and the Holy Spirit Himself. Paul talks about the word feeding us, milk and solid food. This is a spiritual need so we can grow.

We are emotional beings. Soul needs include - friendship, affirmation, love, encouragement, recognition, appreciation, self expression, being valued, fulfilment in our gifting, self esteem, healthy thinking, freedom to be ones self.

We have a body. Bodily needs include - food, water, warmth,shelter, exercise, and sex (which also has a soul component).



I'd like to suggest that any approach that neglects the whole person is only treating one aspect of the person and not the whole person. I would guess that whilst sometimes people leave churches because their spiritual needs are not being met that it is more common for people to leave because they were not having their soul needs recognised or met there.

God treats the whole person - he saved him or her from sin and gives them salvation (spirit), He heals the body (body) and heals the emotions (soul). He teaches us to renew the mind (soul) It also says that God places the lonely in families (soul). When God made man He created woman because being alone wasn't good (soul). God created marriage to promote the fulfilment of the emotional and sexual aspect of our being (soul and body). God is concerned holistically for all of us. He ordained children to be brought up in families not in orphanages (soul). God redeemed all of us, not just one part of us.

Most of the problems that arise in life which hinder us from being like Christ, and living out of the new heart come from the soul. In other words unhealthy or wrong thinking often linked to long standing emotional wounds, (sometimes traumas) block the flow of life inside of us. They also damage our relationships. People who get hurt build defences to keep them safe again in the future. Defenses can become dysfunctional.

One of the saddest things in the world is when two christians who loved God, were committed to God and church end up getting divorced. Some of the most anointed of men have end up getting divorced (Benny Hinn, Todd Bentley, Larry Lea). What went wrong? Usually you hear that in a christian couple one side or the other was not getting their basic emotional or soul needs met, and one of them decided to move on. If you don't get your needs met in a healthy way then you will go get them met in an unhealthy way. The trick is to teach people to get their soul needs met in a healthy way.

Soul wounds can impede the way that people see and relate to God, as well as each other. They can touch such fundamental things as the ability to trust others, to relinquish control over others and circumstances, to handle emotions honourably and reciprocately, to communicate honestly etc. Most of the parents that I have dealt with as a social worker did love their children. But they were often unable to give or show good enough care because of the hurts and traumas that they had experienced in their own lives. It became too difficult for them to give love and stability to their kids because they had never received it themselves. I know born again christians who have seperated after years in good apostolic churches. This was because despite having a new heart they were still as emotionally broken twenty years down the line as they were when they came to Christ. We have not healed and restored the soul. Often we didn't even know they had a problem.

Many churches focus on the spiritual side but neglect the soul. I'd like to suggest that all of us need to ask - "how is your/my soul doing?" more often. In our marriages I'd like to suggest that we need to ask how well we are meeting the soul needs of our partner? If one or both partners feels taken for granted, unrecognised, frustrated, unhappy, then I guarantee their are soul needs being neglected.

I'd like to suggest that the church that pays attention to and recognises the non spiritual needs of its people is also a healthy place to get spiritual needs met in. How are people's relationships? How many friends do people have? How many are close friends? Do other people know how you are doing? How happy are people? How fulfilled are they? How secure and fulfilled are the marriages? If you are a pastor do you know how your people are feeling? We have a tendency to think these questions are maybe unspiritual, that people don't have such needs, or that they are of minor importance. Whilst I don't believe it is necessarily the job of the pastor to meet these needs, it is the job of the pastor to help create a culture that helps people to recognise and address them in a healthy way.

I know that there is a counter danger to this argument - i.e.that  if we put personal fulfilment above anything else we will end up becoming self centred and pursue our own self fulfilment instead of living for Christ. I know that at times following Christ involves sacrifice and at times there will needs that are deliberately not met. The spiritual needs are always the primary ones. However there is an imbalance in our approach in many churches that is just unbiblical, and that is what I am speaking into.   

John said in John 3:

"I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers".

If that isn't a "spiritual" endorsement of the value of a propserous soul then I don't know what is.

So, how is your soul?

(Acknowledgments to Kris Vallotan, and Patricia King for this message)